Category: Uncategorized

The Child’s Dilemma

Fairbairn is one of my heroes  – as a child we have no choice but to greedily eat what our parents put in our mouths. But often we felt poisoned, but because we needed them so badly, it was easier to believe there was something wrong with us, and they must really be perfect.  It can take a long time to understand this situation, to feel our hunger, and dare to STAND our need and not just blindly swallow down what others offer. Read More

Why hope often leads you to frustration

All of us find ourself longing for some kind of fulfilment, which so often seems to be disapointed at every step – since we find ourself already looking through a telescope of what is usually blind hope, we fail to see how much we often sacrifice ourselves on this altar (and alter!) and end up feeling cynical and frustrated. . Aldous Huxley once defined cynicism as someone who wouldnt take yes for an answer…
There is another dimension of being we cannot find by looking that lies right under our own feet, that is available when we can dare to feel disapointment, or sadness – doesnt sound great, but it enables us to stand our need, trust our own perceptions, and deal with the weirdness of Life Read More

Healing – by not going somewhere else!

Therapy can take us on a relentless journey – if we really want to glimpse how we can heal ourselves and others, we are forced to put our trust in the depths of our own heart –  that it contains potentials we have not begun to dream of – but we cannot open this up by trying to get somewhere else.
The following is quoted by Joan Tollifson (herself  an amazingly courageous explorer of our ineffable birthright who was forced to confront Life without a  right hand) – from Joko Beck:

Joko said: “Practice is not about having nice feelings, happy feelings. It’s not about changing, or getting somewhere. That in itself is the basic fallacy. But observing this desire begins to clarify it. Read More